Angela's Wired Words

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Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy, Thoughts

Of Trust

Lately I have written lot about hope – particularly since the miscarriage we experienced this spring. I’ve been very particular to label it as “hope” because I’ve stuggled deeply with the concept of “faith” – inasmuch as it’s defined in Hebrews 11:1 as “the assurance of things hoped for.” I knew God had called us to this journey as a gestational carrier, but I also knew He had never assured us of a certain outcome, though we  ...

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Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy, Uncategorized

Of the Fear-Filled Morning

It began with a trickle. But the trickle was pink. And that’s not a good color to find on your bedsheet when you’re pregnant. But when I felt the rush of fluid while heading in the hospital doors, touched my soaking pants and came away with fingers wet with red, my intermittant nervous tears turned into full weeping. It was too late. I just knew it. At nearly 15 weeks, this baby was gone. When I continued to see an overwhelming amount of reddish pink on the ER bed sheets, the  ...

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Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy

Of Renewing Our Hope

We faced the black and white screen once again – that same room, that same doctor – the one who pronounced to us only four months ago the unexpected loss of something so precious and anticipated – he, too, had that look on his face, the one that said he hoped so much for something better to tell us this time, but that he was almost afraid to hope. We were all a little afraid in that room. And then it came, the tiny, grainy flicker of a tiny grain-sized heart beating.  ...

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Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy

Of His Miracles

Throughout my pregnancy with my first-born, I often found myself marveling over the fact that my body seemed like a perfectly programmed machine that simply knew what it was meant to do. All these pieces came together and worked and chugged and by the end of it, out would come this perfect little human. And all the while, I had no conscious knowledge of all that was required for the desire outcome. It was all my body. It knew exactly what to do. As soon as an embryo was developed and  ...

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Featured, Thoughts

Of Our Purpose

Sometimes God teaches me a lesson and I think, maybe that one was just for me and I shouldn’t worry about blogging it. But sometimes He won’t let me go until I share it. This is one of those lessons. I few weeks ago, fresh in the mire of grief following a miscarriage and D&C, still worn out and slow after surgery, while my husband was at the men’s retreat I insisted he still attended¬†and my mother was at the grocery store making a chocolate run, I had my first moment  ...

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